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"You make me too happy. Go away."
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"Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville, population: You."
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"You're not weird enough."
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"You have no more t-shirts I want to borrow."
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"Ummm... I just realised something about my sexuality"
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"Monogamy, what's that?"
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"Will you marry me?"
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"What? We're a couple?"
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"Hmmm.. I thought you'd be dead by now."
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"I much prefer coffee"
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"I've been feeling a bit strange lately."
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"You just look better than me in my skirts."
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"I was hoping we could just go back to being enemies......."
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"Listen darling, I just wanted to fuck you not fucking marry you"
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"I'm really sorry, hon. But either we break up, or one of us dies."
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"I don't know how to explain it, but I think my cat's allergic to you."
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"It's just not going to work. You're human, and I'm not."
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"My mom thinks you're a dork."
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"My parents don't hate you as much as I hoped they would."
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"I got what I want. Now leave."
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"You're just too nice. More like a friend than a lover."
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"I don't fancy you anymore. Go away."
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"Look, I'm just about sick of you, now wont you just fuck off!"
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"You're not evil enough for me to have a serious relationship with."
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"You have my permission to see other people if you want."
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"I can't date anyone who has never heard of George Carlin."
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"I can't go out with you because I actually like you."
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"I don't like obligations..."
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"Look, hon, being with you is like babysitting."
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"I know that breaking up will mean the death of us both"
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"Would it upset you terribly if we were just . . . FRIENDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
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"No, we're not going to break up."
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"You bore me."
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"I've gotten all I can out of you. Leave me."
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"You wore pink last Tuesday. Get out of my sight."
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"You're actually starting to cheer me up."
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"You don't like sex on gravestones?"
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"You gave me live flowers, how tacky."
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"You want to do what? Bowling?!"
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"I think your an embarrassment to me and the rest of humankind, fucking hippie!"
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"Uh, sorry, I thought I liked you, but I've just realised you irritate the living shit out of me.
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"Listen luv, after last night I finally got my eyes tested."
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"By the way, we broke up. About two months ago. I forgot to tell you."
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"I just get so bored after a while...."
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"I love you but I want to date 3 other people to be sure if this is right for me."
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"I lied to you for the past 2 months."
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"You don't have any more clothes that I want to borrow."
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"I think we need to have a talk about you and I.... You are aware that there is no You and I.
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"Commitment?... Wait, hold on, what 'relationship'?"
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"It's not that i think you are becoming unattractive but....um... can you look the other way when i am talking to you."